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Trays and boxes that had been cracked or clipped or misaligned in the machine. We made them into toys—beds for our dolls, ramps for our cars.
She worked and worked and worked, and still we were poor. We received government cheese and powdered milk, food stamps and medical assistance cards, and free presents from do-gooders at Christmastime.
We played tag and red light green light and charades by the apartment mail- boxes that you could open only with a key, waiting for checks to arrive.
Sarsaparilla or Orange Crush or lemonade. She would spread her arms wide and ask us how much and there would never be an end to the game.
She loved us more than all the named things in the world. She was optimistic and serene, except a few times when she lost her temper and spanked us with a wooden spoon.
She dated men with names like Killer and Doobie and Motorcycle Dan and one guy named Victor who liked to downhill ski.
They would give us five-dollar bills to buy candy from the store so they could be alone in the apartment with our mom. Karen and Leif and I fell in love with him too.
He was twenty-five when we met him and twenty-seven when he married our mother and promised to be our father; a carpenter who could make and fix anything.
We left the apartment complexes with fancy names and moved with him into a rented ramshackle farmhouse that had a dirt floor in the basement and four different colors of paint on the outside.
The winter after my mother married him, Eddie fell off a roof on the job and broke his back. A year later, he and my mom took the twelve-thousand-dollar settlement he received and with it bought forty acres of land in Aitkin County, an hour and a half west of Duluth, paying for it outright in cash.
There was no house. No one had ever had a house on that land. Our forty acres were a perfect square of trees and bushes and weedy grasses, swampy ponds and bogs clotted with cattails.
There was nothing to dif- ferentiate it from the trees and bushes and grasses and ponds and bogs that surrounded it in every direction for miles.
And, slowly, it did. Trees that had once looked like any other to me became as recognizable as the faces of old friends in a crowd, their branches gesturing with sudden meaning, their leaves beckoning like identifiable hands.
Clumps of grass and the edges of the now-familiar bog became landmarks, guides, indecipherable to everyone but us.
For six months, we went up north only on weekends, working furiously to tame a patch of the land and build a one-room tarpaper shack where the five of us could sleep.
In early June, when I was thirteen, we moved up north for good. Or rather, my mother, Leif, Karen, and I did, along with our two horses, our cats and our dogs, and a box of ten baby chicks my mom got for free at the feed store for buying twenty-five pounds of chicken feed.
Eddie would continue driving up on weekends throughout the summer and then stay come fall. We were twenty miles away from two small towns in opposite directions: Moose Lake to the east; McGregor to the northwest.
We fought and talked and made up jokes and diversions in order to pass the time. Are you a man? Are you Charles Manson? We were swarmed by mosqui- toes as we worked, but my mother forbade us to use DEET or any other such brain-destroying, earth-polluting, future-progeny-harming chemical.
Instead, she instructed us to slather our bodies with pennyroyal or peppermint oil. In the evenings, we would make a game of counting the bites on our bodies by candlelight.
The numbers would be seventy-nine, eighty-six, one hundred and three. There had always been a television in our house, not to mention a flushable toilet and a tap where you could get yourself a glass of water.
In our new life as pioneers, even meeting the simplest needs often involved a grueling litany of tasks, rig- orous and full of boondoggle.
Our kitchen was a Coleman camp stove, a fire ring, an old-fashioned icebox Eddie built that depended on actual ice to keep things even mildly cool, a detached sink propped against an outside wall of the shack, and a bucket of water with a lid on it.
Each component demanded just slightly less than it gave, needing to be tended and maintained, filled and unfilled, hauled and dumped, pumped and primed and stoked and monitored.
Karen and I shared a bed on a lofted platform built so close to the ceiling we could just barely sit up. Leif slept a few feet away on his own smaller platform, and our mother was in a bed on the floor below, joined by Eddie on the weekends.
Every night we talked one another to sleep, slumber-party style. There was a skylight window in the ceiling that ran the length of the platform bed I shared with Karen, its transparent pane only a few feet from our faces.
That someday I would be grateful and that in fact I was grateful now, that I felt something growing in me that was strong and real. The thing that would make me believe that hiking the Pacific Crest Trail was my way back to the person I used to be.
All through my teen years, Eddie and my mom kept building it, adding on, making it better. My mother planted a garden and canned and pickled and froze vegetables in the fall.
She tapped the trees and made maple syrup, baked bread and carded wool, and made her own fabric dyes out of dandelions and broccoli leaves.
I grew up and left home for college in the Twin Cities at a school called St. Thomas, but not without my mom. My acceptance letter men- tioned that parents of students could take classes at St.
Much as she liked her life as a modern pioneer, my mother had always wanted to get her degree. We laughed about it together, then pondered it in private.
Thomas was a three- hour drive away. We kept talking and talking until at last we had a deal: Thomas but we would have separate lives, dictated by me.
I would live in the dorm and she would drive back and forth. If our paths crossed on campus she would not acknowledge me unless I acknowledged her first.
She replicated my worksheets, wrote the same papers I had to write, read every one of the books.
I judged her a shaky student at best. She went to college and earned straight As. Sometimes I hugged her exuberantly when I saw her on campus; other times I sailed on by, as if she were no one to me at all.
We were both seniors in college when we learned she had cancer. I was married by then, to a good man named Paul.
After she got sick, I folded my life down. I told Paul not to count on me. I wanted to quit school, but my mother ordered me not to, begging me, no matter what happened, to get my degree.
She herself took what she called a break. She only needed to complete a couple more classes to graduate, and she would, she told me.
She would get her BA if it killed her, she said, and we laughed and then looked at each other darkly. She would be strong enough to start in on those last two classes soon, she absolutely knew.
I stayed in school, though I convinced my professors to allow me to be in class only two days each week.
As soon as those two days were over, I raced home to be with my mother. Plus, I was needed. Eddie was with her when he could be, but he had to work.
Someone had to pay the bills. I cooked food that my mother tried to eat, but rarely could she eat. I took everything from the cupboards and put new paper down.
My mother slept and moaned and counted and swallowed her pills. On good days she sat in a chair and talked to me. There was nothing much to say.
I knew that her love for me was vaster than the ten thousand things and also the ten thousand things beyond that. I knew the names of the horses she had loved as a girl: Pal and Buddy and Bacchus.
I knew how she met my father the next year and what he seemed like to her on their first few dates. Cursing and sassing off to her mom, bitching about having to set the table while her much younger sister played.
I wanted to know. But now that she was dying, I knew everything. My mother was in me already. Not just the parts of her that I knew, but the parts of her that had come before me too.
A little more than a month. The idea that my mother would live a year quickly became a sad dream. By the third of March, she had to go to the hospital in Duluth, seventy miles away, because she was in so much pain.
She sat on the bed and I got down on my knees before her. I had never put socks on another person, and it was harder than I thought it would be.
They went on crooked. I became furious with my mother, as if she were purposely holding her foot in a way that made it impossible for me.
She sat back, leaning on her hands on the bed, her eyes closed. I could hear her breathing deeply, slowly. It was a word she used often throughout my childhood, delivered in a highly specific tone.
This is not the way I wanted it to be, that single honey said, but it was the way it was. It was this very acceptance of suffering that annoyed me most about my mom, her unending optimism and cheer.
Her movements were slow and thick as she put on her coat. She held on to the walls as she made her way through the house, her two beloved dogs following her as she went, pushing their noses into her hands and thighs.
I watched the way she patted their heads. The words fuck them were two dry pills in my mouth. Until she was dying, the thought had never entered my mind.
She was monolithic and insurmountable, the keeper of my life. She would grow old and still work in the garden. I held fast to this image for the first couple of weeks after we left the Mayo Clinic, and then, once she was admitted to the hospice wing of the hospital in Duluth, that image unfurled, gave way to others, more modest and true.
I imagined my mother in October; I wrote the scene in my mind. And then the one of my mother in August and another in May. Each day that passed, another month peeled away.
On her first day in the hospital, a nurse offered my mother morphine, but she refused. She slept and woke, talked and laughed.
She cried from the pain. I camped out during the days with her and Eddie took the nights. She was preoccupied with nothing but eradicating her pain, an impossible task in the spaces of time between the doses of morphine.
We could never get the pillows right. He was young, perhaps thirty. He stood next to my mother, a gentle hairy hand slung into his pocket, looking down at her in the bed.
And also I wanted to take pleasure from him, to feel the weight of his body against me, to feel his mouth in my hair and hear him say my name to me over and over again, to force him to acknowledge me, to make this matter to him, to crush his heart with mercy for us.
When my mother asked him for more morphine, she asked for it in a way that I have never heard anyone ask for anything. He did not look at her when she asked him this, but at his wristwatch.
He held the same expression on his face regardless of the answer. Sometimes he gave it to her without a word, and sometimes he told her no in a voice as soft as his penis in his pants.
My mother begged and whimpered then. She cried and her tears fell in the wrong direction. Not down over the light of her cheeks to the corners of her mouth, but away from the edges of her eyes to her ears and into the nest of her hair on the bed.
She lived forty-nine days after the first doctor in Duluth told her she had cancer; thirty-four after the one at the Mayo Clinic did.
But each day was an eternity, one stacked up on the other, a cold clarity inside of a deep haze. I was in heartbroken and enraged disbelief.
One friend told us he was stay- ing with a girl named Sue in St. Another spotted him ice fishing on Sheriff Lake.
Mostly, I watched her sleep, the hardest task of all, to see her in repose, her face still pinched with pain. But it was just me.
My husband, Paul, did everything he could to make me feel less alone. What did he know about losing anything? His parents were still alive and happily married to each other.
My connection with him and his gloriously unfractured life only seemed to increase my pain. Being with him felt unbearable, but being with anyone else did too.
The only person I could bear to be with was the most unbearable person of all: In the mornings, I would sit near her bed and try to read to her.
I had two books: So I started in, but I could not go on. Each word I spoke erased itself in the air.
It was the same when I tried to pray. I prayed fervently, rabidly, to God, any god, to a god I could not identify or find.
I prayed to the whole wide universe and hoped that God would be in it, listening to me. I prayed and prayed, and then I faltered.
God was not a granter of wishes. God was a ruthless bitch. The last couple of days of her life, my mother was not so much high as down under.
She was on a morphine drip by then, a clear bag of liquid flowing slowly down a tube that was taped to her wrist. Sometimes when my mother woke she did not know where she was.
She demanded an enchilada and then some apple- sauce. During this time I wanted my mother to say to me that I had been the best daughter in the world.
I did not want to want this, but I did, inexplicably, as if I had a great fever that could be cooled only by those words. But this was not enough.
I was ravenous for love. My mother died fast but not all of a sudden. A slow-burning fire when flames disappear to smoke and then smoke to air. She was altered but still fleshy when she died, the body of a woman among the living.
She had her hair too, brown and brittle and frayed from being in bed for weeks. From the room where she died I could see the great Lake Superior out her window.
The biggest lake in the world, and the coldest too. To see it, I had to work. And then more quietly she said: I wanted to take her from the hospital and prop her in a field of yarrow to die.
I watched my mother. Outside the sun glinted off the sidewalks and the icy edges of the snow. It would turn out to be the last full day of her life, and for most of it she held her eyes still and open, neither sleeping nor waking, intermittently lucid and hallucinatory.
The nurses and doctors had told Eddie and me that this was it. I took that to mean she would die in a couple of weeks.
I believed that people with cancer lingered. I decided to leave the hospital for one night so I could find him and bring him to the hospital once and for all.
I looked over at Eddie, half lying on the little vinyl couch. None of us will leave. I rode the elevator and went out to the cold street and walked along the sidewalk.
I passed a bar packed with people I could see through a big plate-glass window. They were all wearing shiny green paper hats and green shirts and green suspenders and drinking green beer.
A man inside met my eye and pointed at me drunkenly, his face breaking into silent laughter. I drove home and fed the horses and hens and got on the phone, the dogs gratefully licking my hands, our cat nudging his way onto my lap.
I called everyone who might know where my brother was. He was drinking a lot, some said. At midnight the phone rang and I told him that this was it.
I wanted to scream at him when he walked in the door a half hour later, to shake him and rage and accuse, but when I saw him, all I could do was hold him and cry.
He seemed so old to me that night, and so very young too. We lay together in his single bed talking and crying into the wee hours until, side by side, we drifted off to sleep.
I woke a few hours later and, before waking Leif, fed the animals and loaded bags full of food we could eat during our vigil at the hospital.
We listened intently to the music without talking, the low sun cutting brightly into the snow on the sides of the road.
This was a new thing, but I assumed it was only a procedural matter. When I opened the door, Eddie stood and came for us with his arms outstretched, but I swerved away and dove for my mom.
Her arms lay waxen at her sides, yellow and white and black and blue, the needles and tubes removed. Her eyes were covered by two surgical gloves packed with ice, their fat fingers lolling clownishly across her face.
When I grabbed her, the gloves slid off. Bouncing onto the bed, then onto the floor. I howled and howled and howled, rooting my face into her body like an animal.
Her limbs had cooled, but her belly was still an island of warm. I pressed my face into the warmth and howled some more. I dreamed of her incessantly.
In the dreams I was always with her when she died. It was me who would kill her. Again and again and again. She commanded me to do it, and each time I would get down on my knees and cry, begging her not to make me, but she would not relent, and each time, like a good daughter, I ultimately complied.
I tied her to a tree in our front yard and poured gasoline over her head, then lit her on fire. I dragged her body, caught on a jagged piece of metal underneath, until it came loose, and then I put my truck in reverse and ran her over again.
I took a miniature baseball bat and beat her to death with it, slow and hard and sad. These dreams were not surreal. They took place in plain, ordinary light.
They were the documentary films of my subconscious and felt as real to me as life. My truck was really my truck; our front yard was our actual front yard; the miniature baseball bat sat in our closet among the umbrellas.
Paul grabbed me and held me until I was quiet. He wetted a washcloth with cool water and put it over my face. Nothing could ever bring my mother back or make it okay that she was gone.
Nothing would put me beside her the moment she died. It broke me up. It cut me off. It tumbled me end over end. It took me years to take my place among the ten thousand things again.
To be the woman my mother raised. To remember how she said honey and picture her particular gaze. I would want things to be different than they were.
The wanting was a wilderness and I had to find my own way out of the woods. It took me four years, seven months, and three days to do it.
It was a place called the Bridge of the Gods. To Texas and back. To New York City and back. To Wyoming and back. To Portland, Oregon, and back.
To Port- land and back again. The map would illuminate all the places I ran to, but not all the ways I tried to stay. It would only seem like that rough star, its every bright line shooting out.
Which meant that no one would. I finally had no choice but to leave her grave to go back to the weeds and blown-down tree branches and fallen pinecones.
To snow and whatever the ants and deer and black bears and ground wasps wanted to do with her. I lay down in the mother ash dirt among the crocuses and told her it was okay.
That since she died, everything had changed. My words came out low and steadfast. I was so sad it felt as if someone were choking me, and yet it seemed my whole life depended on my getting those words out.
She would always be my mother, I told her, but I had to go. The only place I could reach her. The next day I left Minnesota forever.
I was going to hike the PCT. It was the first week of June. I drove to Portland in my Chevy Luv pickup truck loaded with a dozen boxes filled with dehydrated food and backpacking supplies.
We pulled into town in the early evening, the sun dipping into the Tehachapi Mountains a dozen miles behind us to the west. The town of Mojave is at an altitude of nearly 2, feet, though it felt to me as if I were at the bottom of something instead, the signs for gas stations, restaurants, and motels rising higher than the highest tree.
By the worn look of the building, I guessed it was the cheapest place in town. I watched him drive away. The hot air tasted like dust, the dry wind whipping my hair into my eyes.
The parking lot was a field of tiny white pebbles cemented into place; the motel, a long row of doors and win- dows shuttered by shabby curtains.
Unfortunately concave does not have a single evidence of the surface of the Earth being a concave.
Flat Earth is flooded with proofs. Every plane journey showing the Earth is flat. Every picture from longer distances proving that Earth is flat.
Plane schedules plane flights are all proving the flat Earth. Every km travel by a plane in concave Earth would change a heights of the plane — 10 KM!!!!
So every plane should be flying constantly up to be always 10 km above the Earth because otherwise the plane will hit the ground.
Second biggest problem is- what about sky, etc. We have no idea what Sun is. I told Steven along time ago he was full of shit and he banned me ….. That part would be correct.
We knew that though, but we wanted information and every asset gives up some truth at the beginning.
That is what we were looking for. There was one time I was thinking it could be a bowl for a day or two. I did not write this blog because of Steven or base it on his beliefs.
I am my own mind and found his info on the glass sky which had evidence to back it up. The theoretical side of the inner workings of a concave earth on this blog is my model.
There you can read about sunsets if you like. Well look at that if you mix the letters up of the lead engineer, the founder and the name of the experiment they say that the rectilineator was a fraud and the earth is flat.
You made one mistake though: So there goes your anagram. Besides the experiment mentioned by Wild Heretic, there are also the Tamarack Mines experiment s which proved conclusively that we are inside the ball.
Wait while a clear night, then look out of your window from a lit room. This relies on being on the side of the craft which is not facing Earth or the Sun, which then reproduces almost exactly the conditions in a lit room at night.
Even the moon is difficult when the Sun is in view. On the surface of the moon or any other airless body at daytime , this would also be possible, though difficult.
The astronaut would need to stand with his back to the Sun and look up enough as to not be able to see the daylight landscape.
I then waited about a minute for any possible eye adjustment etc. I was above the clouds, above northern Egypt around the summer solstice which is known for star gazing they do tourist tours for such and no stars were seen at all.
I suspect it needs the charged atmosphere to help make the light more visible to less sensitive detectors my eyes. I read recently that satellite radiometers light detectors that have a space view for scientific purposes and navigation need to be some of the most sensitive and greatly amplified to be able to detect the stars.
Now radiometers on these machines are super-sensitive, way more than our eyes, as their horizon is vastly greater by many magnitudes as I will reveal in the next couple of articles soon to be finished.
As above so below is their motto ie they match the microcosm to the macrocosm so they make the sub-atomic world a mirror of the false heliocentric model with orbits and such like.
Yes i also think Nuclear power is probably a mass hoax. Google Eric Dollard, who can explain what happened to laboratory bench science when it began to really test what space and time are.
The whole thing was shut down circa And relativity theory was given centre stage. At the peak of the eclipse there should be nothing much to see at all besides the ring effect of moon in front of sun.
The more the merrier. Look at the video on the link you posted. No stars throughout, but then when the clip is cut at around 1 min 13 seconds lasting a few seconds we are shown what looks to be an animation and background stars!
Some of these balloon videos seem to be video composites. One does not see any evidence of the same distortion on the foreground image.
The Sun also looks like a lens flare and not a bright white hot disc in many of these videos, which I think also makes them questionable.
The Red Bull videos are another example. Pardon me if tho has been mentioned but how does the bent surface image inversion principle figure in to this skycentric model when viewing stars from the ground?
The rounded glass would exaggerate and scatter an image, or shrink and rotate it depending on which side of the dome the viewer is looking at.
Think about both sides of a spoon, or a camera lens or eye cornea which flip images upside down. Maybe this accounts for why the stars disappear at high altitude do they ever reappear higher up?
Some experiments would have to be done on a small model to hopefully find out where the star lights come from. I theorize they come from a very tightly packed sphere 2 to 3 degrees out from the center around the center.
Not totally sure about it all just yet. Steve has a video on it just come out which is close to what I am thinking. Could you put the camera inside the balloon facing up?
You could make the balloon clear. You could try different gasses or filters inside the balloon or make it of refractive material. Like a giant floating eyeball lol.
A camera on top of a balloon, on a night launch is what I am trying to arrange, and the Sony A7S will shoot the stars in real time youtube vids available , which means no time exposures are required, which means the camera need not be stabilised.
Just been looking at that camera, and my word it can see more stars than I can with the naked eye. He asked another friend who was a fairly serious amateur astronomer.
This is what he had to say regarding why you cannot see stars in space …. Stars are point sources of light — they are so far away that they are essentially Dirac functions.
Not only do cameras not have the necessary dynamic range, with no atmosphere to contribute to diffraction, the point sources are so small as compared to the pixel size that the Nyquist sampling requirement is not satisfied Multiple pixels per airy disc so the stars are not resolved.
To prove this objectively, a camera that can see stars from the ground needs to go up in a balloon and see if it can still see stars from 30km to 40km.
There is the problem of movement of course, but these cameras do exist. I found two reasonably priced camcorders that can detect some stars.
There is a security camera that is expensive but can capture a lot of them at ground level. After reading my own article again, which was written so long ago, I had forgotten what I wrote, I see that the 2 cameras used by the guy who sent up his balloon at night is able to see a few stars from ground level — not brilliant, but they were able to see a few as shown on the photos.
Of course, these photos were taken by different people at different locations at probably different times of the year which looks to be a varying factor in star visibility.
December is the best by the way. His night time balloon shots with the same camera show no stars whatsoever. Was it because the camera on the balloon was moving too much?
A night time experiment would have to reduce the movement of the camera significantly and move the same camera at ground level on the same day from left to right and up and down to see if it can still capture stills or video of stars.
I have an old Nikon dslr from , bottom of the range stuff, but you can change the light sensitivity ISO up to to at least I think. I might have a go on a clear night this month and see at ground level if this camera can possibly capture any stars.
If that camera can pick up a few stars even streaky ones with every shot at ground level, then we have an experimental night time balloon camera ready to go.
I think there is a way to set a timer on the camera so it can continuously take pictures on a balloon. I wonder if infrared differs in altitude visibility than visible light?
It would be interesting to do the balloon experiment with a night vision camera. Night time experiment with balloon would be great. One rabbi in Talmud says, that after sunset, Sun immediately goes up and hides above firmament.
Moon or Sun should be visible above clouds at night, should be interesting. If sent up that high, the wind could carry it 30 or 40 miles away. May need to put some kind of GPS locator on it as well — to make sure you can find that sucker if you lose sight of it.
Occasionally bad luck makes camera retrieval impossible. Stuck up a tall tree for example. If the atmosphere is needed to make the stars visible to a camera, does that also apply to human eyesight?
Would a camera mounted to a telescope also spread the light enough for a camera to be able to resolve? Why has a regular telescope not been placed in space, instead of the Hubble, which uses still classified optics?
Why have not China or Russia or Japan or India not put a visible light telescope in space? The ebay one is 1mm to 1km. Loving your work so far.
Do you think it would be accurate to measure the horizon from up a large mountain looking out over the ocean with a dumpy level?
Seems this would be an easy way for anyone to measure the horizon for curvature. Or would bendy light make the measurements inaccurate anyway?
I was discussing just that with tizzibit or some name like that a couple of weeks ago. It looks like some practical experiments can be affordable after all.
I have a few ideas with a good leveling device, and the horizon is one of them. I am in Ireland and so I would have to travel to a little further afield, maybe Connemara Kerry would be ideal, but it is a vacation drive away.
There is an extensive canal network where I live which may offer a great opportunity for a modern day version of the rectilineator experiment if I can get a long enough flat stretch.
This canal may also offer an opportunity to do bendy light experiments also, particularly at 1, 1. Why mountains height is measured from sea surface level?
Then after research appeared, that actually car goes downhill. Some big geographic anomaly. We tried it as a family when I was about 10 years old and the car did do just that, albeit very slowly.
Geographic anomalies would be interesting to look at through a skycentric viewpoint. I experienced a famous one in California as a kid.
It involved a hill and an optical illusion, which was disorienting. My family and I experienced it. They have some of these in Oregon I believe, too.
Now, if they look carefully they should observe the stars as small points of white light. Wikipedia is completely wrong again. It has been a major factor along my quest for the truth about the cover up of the geocentric reality.
Without getting into any details, operations fishbowl or Nukes in Space were a complete failure. The monkey died, and at the time everyone blamed microgravity itself: The acute cause of death was ventricular fibrillation.
At the time of death, body weight was 4. Weight loss may have been due to the marginally palatable food pellets that had to be used to accommodate experimental requirements.
Marked dehydration was evident. The cause of death is still controversial. At the time it was speculated that the changes noted in the animal were an effect of microgravity alone.
Completely goes against any logic or commonsense and puts the moon landing likelihood at a trillion to one on just stuff like this alone.
Not one single thing of a multitude of things in their theoretical planning was unexpected or went wrong in reality with their first attempt.
Just like real life lol. They are laughing at us. The good news is we will continually have events like this every couple of years or so in order to reinforce the hypnotic trance of Newtonian heliocentric nonsense on the unwitting populace.
A bit like they had to do to Professor Arturo in sliders season 3, episode 13 at 23min 45s https: We are no different. The comet thing was a laugh.
In a couple of years the next event will be even funnier. Landing on a comet lacked imagination as it was a direct rip off of that crap Bruce Willis movie.
It also made the moon landing farce look like a walk down to the shops and back. More than hard to believe. Risky of it was real. The whole world was watching.
Can you imagine if any mistake was made? Deaths of astronauts and a deeply embarrassing event for the U. Apollo 1 was a disaster that caused all three astronauts to be burned alive in the command module while on the launch pad.
Still a huge stretch though as it was their very first attempt at landing men on the moon and leaving and getting back alive without a hitch… first time and live to boot.
In real life that is not how it would be done. You know your territory and you minimize all risks and you do it piecemeal. When all conditions are known and have been proven and work On top of which, they had just sent a monkey up there 2 weeks before supposedly after orbiting for a few days, but I think that part is bullshit and it came back in bad shape and died 8 hours later.
Still to this day, they have no idea why… yet they went ahead and sent people up anyway for one of them to land on the moon exactly 2 weeks later.
They are made of hardier stuff than monkeys. There are videos on YouTube that show lights on Ceres. That should be fun. I wonder if it will be another room of cheering men in suits like the ESA comet debacle.
Who can I talk to here to share what I saw? It was something major, no small observance. Totally new to Concave Theory. Just a few observations.
Though they tried to go deeper, they could not. Drilling from the inside out, could they have hit the outer shell of a manufactured orb?
David Icke and others maintain the moon is a constructed orb. Perhaps even containing worm holes to reach those alien realms?
The poles are exit holes from the concave earth? If the Nazis went through the southern vortex, they would now occupy the surface which would account for all the apparent moon bases there.
Could NASA be sending our rockets and satellites in the same manner? A tough one to call. There are lots of anecdotal stories of the underworld.
Is the moon we observe inside, a projection of the outside of the earth? I never thought of it as a projection of the outside.
ATM I just think they are bits of the Sun trapped in its electric field. No doubt exhibitions have been sent. There would be no way to tell which was the truth.
What if both are correct? What if concave and convex versions could exists at the same time. Ah, one of those non-eulicidian shapes or whatever you call them.
That is too far out for my comprehension, but you are welcome to send me your idea. Hi, Recently my brain was terrified when I realized that I do not believe in God, but I believe only astronauts that the Earth is a sphere.
What if they lie? I read a lot about flat earth and also concave earth proves. Why there are no communication cables, ship routes and air routes between south-end of South America and Australia?
Have you just read that as an opinion of a flat earther or have you really looked into that thoroughly?
Who and when crossed Antarctica? Why there are so many bases there? Gosh, lots of theories here. Another is problems or alliances?
I read it and performed short research on the web. Of course that may be not a solid research. But there is really minor traffic on this route.
I checked flying time between those 2 points and it takes longer than the similar distance between eg.
Please take a look also at a cargo route. From the flat earth perspective — my own experience — while flying from Amsterdam to Guatemala I remember flying over Greenland and Great Lakes — on the flat earth map it is a straight line.
Antarctica is a special teritory. Oficially the ecosystem is under protection, but who knows what is really protected.
On the other parts of the world we have conficts, but in that place there is peace and cooperation. Only 66 years ago we discovered that it is one continent.
Ronne disproved the notion that the continent was divided in two and established that East and West Antarctica was one single continent….
There is no route map I could find. Does the shorter route go over the south pole to Melbourne? Or is it traveling at faster speed?
Another flight time discussion was left by the YouTube poster Mahrai Ziller here: Your Sydney to Rio flights were from Emirates.
Why do they do this? Most other flights will be American, naturally taking you out of your way to stop off in LA and maybe Texas as well.
Flight time from Sydney to Chile — 12 hours 40 minutes; from Chile to Rio — 4 hours 15 minutes; stop over time — 3 hours 5 minutes; total travel time around 20 hours, pure flight time around 17 hours.
That is a journey from Sydney to Rio in under 32 hours — even including stop over time! Now for your Cape Town to Aukland claims: Total flight time around 13 hours, with about 9 hour change over in Dubai meaning about 22 hours travel time also note that Dubai is not on a direct line between London and Dar Es Salaam, which added on to the flight time as well.
London to Rio was about 12 hours. Rio to Brasilia was less than 2 hours. Total flying time about 14 hours, travel time with stop over was around 26 hours.
Either way, you pulled it out of your arse. Now, how about you show us the URLs of the websites you looked at, so we can check the actual flight times, destinations and stop over durations?
Tell you what, how about I do it for you. I even gave you the date and the flight details airlines and flight numbers. The website offering them was flightnetwork dot com.
Is that the only website offering airline tickets in your demented version of reality? Did you even bother to read that post?
Because that IS a journey from Sydney to Rio in under 32 hours — even including stop over time! But has the MOON been captured by one of those amatuer weather ballon cameras?
I think I spotted it twice in two videos, but it was very very small. Having said that I think some video cameras make the moon like very small anyway.
I mean to look into that. It is extremely rare though and probably is effected at altitude the same way the visibility of the stars is too.
The concave earth theory with the universe inside actually makes perfect sense for what the global spiritual current tells us: He said God exists and God doesnt exist.
I believe Ptolemy model is we live outside. Anyway, when do you estimate your next article is coming out? The next article is a cracker if I say so myself lol.
But it is very very long and will be best if you save the page first when it appears for download purposes.
It is much more speculative than the last, but there is evidence splattered throughout and some points are more speculative than most.
I have most of it written, nearly all of it worked out. I am hoping to wrap it up in September. It is part one.
I like the dimension theory. That creates progress towards a better understanding of hidden reality. Maybe the flood has something to do with ice melting from the glass sky?
A technology test gone wrong? I once had a dream with pieces of moon in the sky. Maybe someone fired something into the sun way back?
I discovered about the void between dimensions in this book which is about a blind woman who was able to see the subtle bodies of people http: Why should we be different?
Thanks Cornel for the really interesting links. I had only started going through the last one you sent me as I was on holiday and only had a brief chance to use the internet for any length of time.
There is a small chance with resonance, but we shall see hopefully. You are right about linking people up with the same system as the Earth.
There is a connection between the way light bends and also magnetism and living things with symmetry or an object having two halves.
I found a theory on magnetite and plant growth by an engineer who theorized it was the south and north pole magnetic particles which are recombined by plants for energy, as sunlight in photosynthesis cannot account for all the energy a plant needs apparently.
I kind of disagree with his theory, but there is some truth in it I think. Then there is Edward Leedskalnin who said that these north and south pole particles keep the Earth together.
By abusing this knowledge maybe they created too much energy and they drained the magnetic force keeping the Earth together too much so that the Earth cavity expanded suddenly Pangea.
The expansion might have occurred where their power station was situated on their territory, opening up the Earth and covering it with ocean.
If I look at these paintings in line with your thinking it becomes very interesting! If sunlight can travel through this alleged area where it cannot be seen then re-emerge in our atmosphere.
That would include a lens camera or the inside of a spacesuit. So does it matter if light can see itself in the deep void of nothingness?
And even if its source is a star whatever stars are they are a source of light either direct or reflected. Either way they can be seen as easily as an asteroid better usually I would imagine lol Keep the focus on the structure.
I have thought of that as well. We assume light travels in vacuum,the same way it does in the atmosphere. We dont know what light is!
We know light curves up here on earth not talking about gravity. Yes it does, but only within this cavity reality. It may bend in other setups as well but hey, I have only found evidence supporting this one.
I had a quick thought on light and maybe it is light which is transverse but because the medium in which it travels is also longitudinal, as the density of this medium is less with higher altitude, only different wavelengths are manufactured or made possible.
Whenever you look at it, visualize your needs, and make them known to the Universe. Cosmology attempts to analyze this connection between what we know to be true and what we believe in.
When we humans put things into perspective we will soon realize that science is no different from metaphysics and spirituality.
Eric Dollard talks about this, there are NO stars seen space because they only appear due to ionospheric induction.
A radial dielectric to transverse EM. In outter space there are NO stars to be seen. Logically this is the case. Thanks for the PDF.
It may help clarify a few things. Would that be like a stone dropped in water with the water ripples also being wavy?
Does anyone thought to launch weather balloon at the night time with your own camera facing upwards and side at Night time?
Or very early morning? The best thing would be to get a camcorder that can record stars from ground level on a clear night.
I mentioned a couple of them, maybe there are more. Release the balloon on a night when the camcorder can pick up stars at ground level and then see if and when the stars disappear and calculate altitude.
If of course such a starless night exists. I flew in midsummer near the Tropic of Cancer. Maybe at 10km altitude the pilots can sometimes see them and at other times not depending on different variables, like the seasons etc.
I know that from the ground stars are much brighter in winter for example. It may reveal something very useful. Might it be that the intensity of light has to do with the air-pressure near the observation point?
This will explain also why we see as good as no stars looking up in the night in a city besides light-polution.
It is simply way warmer in the city compared to outside of it. Or maybe light intensity and temperature. There could well be something in it.
What if air pressure is a side effect of aether pressure and it is the aether as a medium in which light travels that is more compressed hence higher air pressure and higher temperatures?
A few stars were visible by naked eye, however using my Canon T3i with a 1 second exposure you could see many quite clearly: Keep that noted somewhere safe.
I have a theory about night orbs stars, planets, Sun etc. If you fly at night in the summer let me know the results.
So far we have three flights noted. Keep it coming please. Now we may be getting somewhere! My current ideas is that there is a yearly and monthly cycle to these things.
I have a feeling this may even happen at ground level as I can remember not seeing stars on cloudless nights before, but at altitude the experience may be even more pronounced.
The size of the sun in the sky is between 0. I have the Sun at roughly 1 degree behind the centre and takes 12 hours to arc around half the circumference of a cylinder on the equinoxes at least.
Circumference of a circle is 2 times pie times radius. So, half the circumference is 3. The horizontal Earth diameter is This distance divided by is So The sun would be 0.
This option is based on the speculation that the entire sky dome is contained in the circular movement of the Sun in the centre.
The problem here is that I have the varied density of the aether as a big factor behind the size and brightness of objects in the sky, so what we see in the sky is by no means rock solid as a basis for any quick back of the envelope calculations.
What would be outside the inside, if as you say the universe is on the inside? Your whole theory falls apart because of this fact alone.
I might be willing to believe the earth is the center of the universe, but obviously we are not inside a hollow earth. The reason for this is that light bends upwards already experimentally demonstrated by Wilhelm Martin.
If you want to see further than visible light, use radar; better yet, radio. Even infra-red will get you further. Read the comments especially.
Read your whole site and I am beyond impressed. Been wanting to do a huge expose on the Geocosmos and a documentary too.. Why do you say refraction is the cause of twinkling stars and their lack of visibility at highish altitude?
I do have a few things to say about all of this. First of all I want to state that I am a scientist although in no way related to astronomy, physics, etc.
There are some good things that you are doing here. First, I do think you are good to make people question their beliefs.
However if you are not willing to question your own beliefs as well, that is majorly hypocritical.
You have shown that multiple times in the comments above. But questioning in general is good. It turns out that around it was thought physics was almost entirely solved.
It turned out it was right and quantum physics was born. Numerous findings since then have confirmed it. All physicists had to question their beliefs to accept quantum physics.
You may have to question your beliefs just like you are asking everyone else to question theirs. Now, with your model, can you explain the following.
Please note that with the current accepted model these are all explainable and very well understood. You have lots of catching up to do to bring your model to the level of completion that the current accepted model is at.
Many of these are easily noticeable at your own convenience and do not require trust in an organization such as NASA. If light changes a good portion of physics and chemistry will need to be changed as well.
I would like to see this answer. A simple test may be possible depending on what the answer is. Most things I can find online are suppositions from amateurs and not pros.
If you had unlimited resources, what experiments would you perform to prove your model and force the current accepted model to be refuted?
Those are a lot of questions, some of which will be answered in future articles. However, the breadth and depth of those questions are too vast for me alone to answer thoroughly.
It could take me 5 to 10 years to do so with the current time I have available and then I am one man with one brain and one perspective. Hopefully the articles so far and those few in the future will motivate other people with better minds to take on a couple of those questions themselves.
No professional who is capable of overcoming their own initial root assumptions within a mile radius will touch CET with a barge pole as it is immediately career ending.
Forget the educational establishment. It is up to us to figure it out. We are on our own. I think we only really understand something when we strive to find out for ourselves.
Spoon-feeding was never going to work. At the moment though I will continue to write and ponder and then mess with electrics… probably.
Or I might change the subject material and go off in a different direction. I strongly disagree with this. Nobody knows what gravity is for example… or matter.
Physics can never get to the bottom of anything as there are always more questions. At least a basic mechanical explanation will suffice for me at the moment.
Seems ignorance stays with us when we die. Another topic of research perhaps? More likely though is that that they bounce it off the ionosphere glass as AM radio.
Could be a few reasons including the official one. LSC has a theory I think. No idea if it is correct. Some clues may be revealed over time.
I will answer this in the next article. What a mess that thing is, whatever it is. The official explanation may be correct.
I think I know what gravity is to a certain extent. Not hard to figure out when you know the Earth is concave.
Tides would be a good thing to ponder and will be in my radar for the future. The obvious answer would be slight changes in the movement of the aether in the eye of the vortex especially over time which I would fully expect because the aether would be dynamic — like everything in life really, cycle always repeat… but not absolutely exactly the same as the last time.
I am also strongly leaning towards this theory. I think it is the bonds which are doing the vibrating like a guitar string. The gravity force of matter would be the spin of the aetheric vortices compressing against whatever the aether is spinning against.
These waves compressing waves would be longitudinal. This is a huge clue and you can research this yourself further for some real eye openers and a lot more besides if you put your thinking cap on.
There is obviously a lot more to this, but I would need to look into this more. This will be hopefully written about in a future article.
I have thought about light and I think I know what it is. I future article for sure. I think I have comets in the bag.
The article after next. Without giving too much away about 0. Will write an article on it very soon. Concentration of the compressed aether gravity is more compressed the lower the altitude is my guess.
Not sure I understand this question. Oh wait I think I know what you mean. The eye of a rankine vortex. The following clip is a rotational vortex, but same idea: It changes from convex to flat to concave depending on how high the horizon is.
See above… and also http: Visible light seems to be accurate at short distances. Thankyou for presenting all this belief opening info.
My brain is chewing on some of this…. For sure there is a vehment defence amongst many people and scientists!
Purely attachment blanket insecurity…infantile but understandable. And some creepy feeling the jesuits are editing whats official belief…..
THey aint really too careful, deliberate disclosure? The reformation or battle between information and ignorance is ongoing. They were so successful in the 20th century that everyone thought it had.
I also think the shuttle is legit. It would be quicker on a globe from NZ to SA to drop over antarctica. There are a few flights i noticed over the north pole though, Dubai to LAX.
Re shuttle and glass sky, I been pinging between deciding on a layer of glass shards at 60miles up, and a solid glass sphere. The shuttle would seem well designed to speed thru a layer of billions of glass particles without melting itself.
A few holes here and there would probably not affect it much. Maybe some older craft hopped along for few minutes just under km, and filmed some real if fisheyed!
The rest is hollywood. I guess you are still writing your next article about gravity and whatever else you are chewing on. I do understand that as one goes a bit deeper, the number of possible questions and possible solutions becomes brain frying.
That explaination is very elegant, part of me wishes it were true. So planets or whites dots passing over at night are only images we see down here.
He said the sun is not visible to the eye in space, requires a diffraction screen on windows to see it.
Do the flights really go directly over the absolute geometric center of the north pole? There have been rumours about Antartica for some time, including lots of military equipment and ships being sent there over the years.
I imagine it could be a no-fly zone completely, at least for private flights. Is this the disk flat earth model?
Depending on winds, these reach 55 degrees south latitude, but other times 71 degrees, which is enough to cross the polar ice cap.
I only caught the dubai LAX flight once it was some way south. It was very far north and heading into canada. Dunno if it had passed exactly over the geometric north pole.
I could try having a flight mapper open all the time and monitor it. Maybe worth looking at a physical globe, to check the aledged alignment of the straightest path between those flight destinations.
They do seem to just slightly avoid the exact north pole as well, as you said. Its used to debunk non-standard earth models.
Peter lindemann spoke to astronauts, he said. That seems to be his background. Jet fuel can accommodate that low temp.
The FAA is now beginning to allow airlines to adjust there polar north routes. The Earth is concave, but it is flat from our orientation on the Earth.
So our immediate locality is flat, but the Earth is concave. This is a major breakthrough and gives the flat Earthers something to chew on.
They also love Egyptian obelisks and lion statues. More like Washington DC. Look, delete both my posts if you like, I was only trying to get the information to you.
You suggested a link between the church and science, well this priest does both. His name is George Lemaitre. B Barbour and B.
Makes a good read. Are the books I was talking about. The reason they keep up this fraud is that if they allow here model of science to fall, long ages falls, evolution falls, there whole house of cards.
Yes it is religious to them. Please look into these things when you have time. Again, keep up the excellent work. Just had a quick intro read of the Hubble book and at least in they admitted that their massive island universe was just speculation.
Of course they never thought to try and devise an experiment to see what the actual truth was or even to determine what the shape of the Earth is.
See what you think of it. Including showing some of the MANY hidden assumptions that underlie our hollywood cosmology. Just some agreed interpretation of irresolvable dots.
For example, look at this sentence: What is the very first question that needs to be asked? The primary questions is did the titanic exist in the first place?
For that reason, I think a lot of conspiracy stuff is deliberately propagated to trap the intelligent ones who ask questions. I have no qualms with Keppler and the like with their predictions of planetary motions relative to the Sun and each other.
In fact, I think they are spot on… just wrong philosophy and they can also leave the Earth out of their calculations.
I think I have a workable theory on what the stars are. Will do an article after the next one about it. Yes, Its taken me years to get through the cognitive dissonance and conspiracy theories which are unfortunatley driven in part by peoples internal alienation and blind assumption that all authorities are bad, …weak grounding in ones personal life co-creating paranoia.
Plenty of evidence does tend to surface confirming ones assumptions, whether its official disinfo or just a natural law of seeing confirmation of what one believes.
Cluesforum looks very good for asking that question, but its breadth overloads my mind at the moment. If so, I guess they would need some rocket powered theatrics that they could use for show.
Off topic rabbit hole tho!! Love your stuff, might I suggest that you download the two books Hubble wrote. He is friends with Einstien lots of pics of the two of them together.
He helps Hubble, go figure, does the math to make redshift become expanding space. Please look into it, I have downloaded the books myself as they are free in pdf format.
Keep up the good work and pls forgive my spelling errors at this time. Thanks for the heads up on the Jesuits.
I saw that video a while back and found it interesting. Who is he again? Hey Wild Heretic, this notion deserves a thorough study. It turns out the guy might be right after all…Even in this yahoo answers discussion they seem to point to the same conclusion: Light is not reflected off anything, but does it reach your pupils?
If you think about it, light and sound are waveforms and so have a frequency. Our nervous system is doing the detecting of these 5 senses and how does it do this — by pulsations, which of course is a frequency.
So when I see this cup of coffee in front of me, maybe I am really seeing the oscillating atomic or molecular or both bonds rather than the molecules themselves.
Something else to look into. I have broadband back at my new home and so hopefully I will be able to crack on with the next article halfway through.
I tried to find some more information on light being invisible in space vacuum. What is claimed and recognized is that the scattered light is invisible becausre the is not enought particles in vacuum, but the light sources and the lit objects are visible.
Basically, you cannot see the light path, which is logical and obvious and not a surprise at all, but you can supposedly see the light source.
I find this very suspicious. In my opinion, more distant light sources will not be visible at all in this scenario. The only way distant light sources could be observed is if we actually observe their reflections provided they get reflected off something in our vicinity.
No way for a star millions of light years away to be visible as a light source in space if its light actually is not scattered off anything.
Could an expansion of this idea be useful in explaining the limited distance of the horizon? Sky is blue cos ether glows…my own science with help from alternative sources.
Have you interacted with him? He might have useful information. Has anyone performed a night balloon launch with this object in mind recently?
I am considering doing that this summer when it is warmer — launching around 2AM so retrieving it might be during early morning light. Fantastic if you can launch a balloon yourself.
There is onlt one night video that I knew of when I wrote the article. Maybe the same guy has done another one.
I was thinking what I would do. If you can find a camera which can see the stars in the night sky at ground level on a clear night and then lauch the balloon that same clear night, we may also be able to roughly work out at what altitude the stars dissappeared at on that day.
I imaigine there are minor or even major variations due to seasonal, aethric, pressure changes etc. It is time, but the next article has been greatly delayed because of 2 reasons: Moved in on Friday and it has been mad busy.
The easy stuff is over. The deeper I dig now, the more detailed and stickier it gets. The one after that is trickier and still have to work through a couple of things.
We are all completely retarded Jim, you, me and every single human being we know. Like an alcoholic, once you realize how thick we really are, we may begin to make a little bit of progress.
I am telling you Jim, as a species we are completely broken. Once you start to think it is difficult to stop. It only happened to me at the end of Check it out, Wild Heretic.